Taking a Left with Rebecca-Chapter 5
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kiss and tell
At my alma mater Syracuse University there's a “Kissing Bench” that has been there for over a hundred years. The superstition surrounding it is that if a couple kisses on the bench then they will get married and live happily ever after. I never sat on it - and if you believe in superstitions, it's a good thing I didn't!
At that time in my life, it was very hard for me to believe that anyone would genuinely be attracted to me. I didn't feel beautiful because of my insecurity about my hand. I felt ugly - and that made hiding my hand so much more important to me if anyone was going to be remotely interested. My trick? One I am sure most can relate to if you think back to those first dates. I always made sure to sit or walk on the left side of my date ... while most may have felt the excitement mount at the possibility of holding hands for the first time, I was setting up the scene to make sure I wasn't found out.
meeting my match
I've come a long way since those days. Over the years I have learned that you truly need to fall in love with yourself first ... and then you will find your match. You can't expect anyone else to love you if you don't yourself. And I'm happy to say that I found the one that loves me and accepts me for who I am.
When I first met my now husband we used to have what we called "carversations" which were long, deep talks while sitting in the car. We were open and honest with each other and during one of those discussions I told him about my hand. His response was super positive and I never doubted his love for me ... all of me. He accepts what I need to feel comfortable in certain situations. That trick I shared earlier? He sits to my left at dinner parties so he can hold my hand during grace. He also knows that at this stage in my life, it’s not because I feel ugly anymore, it's because I don't want to freak out the person sitting next to me!
put a ring on it
Mike and I have been together for 20 years and married for nine. When we got engaged, I asked him if we could keep the wedding a secret. The idea of declaring my love in front of hundreds of people was not my ideal way to start marital bliss. To literally be the center of attention, with everyone staring at me, and sadly without my parents there, was the worst kind of wedding I could imagine. So we eloped to our local mayor's office and tied the knot. And when it was time to put a ring on it, my soon to be husband put the ring on....
my right hand!
I don't have a ring finger on my left hand.
Whenever I go to other weddings, it always reminds me of how lucky I am to be married to an amazing man who loves me for who I truly am. He is my rock. He has been by my side throughout this healing journey. He has listened, he has encouraged and he has loved. He brings me happiness, peace, joy and laughter. I mean, just take a look at how we “show up” at Halloween parties! I imagine most of you will recognize this duo.
I am thankful that I never sat on that kissing bench - and that I found my love at my own party on 15th Street in Washington, DC.
The Taking a Left with Rebecca e-newsletter series tells the story of half full founder Rebecca Twitchell’s trials and triumphs of living with only two fully developed fingers on her left hand. Stay tuned as her tale unfolds over the coming weeks.
Contact Rebecca at firstname.lastname@example.org
Looking to fall in love with your goals? Join the next Forward presented by half full happening October 25-27 in Salisbury, Massachusetts. This exclusive experience includes personal development workshops plus one-on-one coaching by Rebecca and the half full team.
Learn more here.