From the Negative to the Positive Mindset
Authored by Rebecca Twitchell
I remember the day like it was yesterday. It was Wednesday, October 21, 2009. It was a beautiful day to take my dog, Murdock, outside for our morning walk. We were minding our own business when we encountered a politician who was politician-ing at the bus stop. She wanted to talk to me, but my instinct was to keep going and avoid her.
Murdock and I continued on our walk. I started thinking about Mom and Dad who had recently passed, and I reflected on my deliberate “non encounter” with the woman at the bus stop …
Why was my initial assumption that I didn’t want to talk to her?
Why did I feel negative emotions about her being there?
And why was my instant response to not just be kind and friendly?
That’s when it hit me, I was still walking in sadness, hurt and anger from losing Mom and Dad so young.
That night, I challenged myself to flip my mindset to one of more positivity and openness. I shifted my thinking to remembering that she is a human being — just like me — who has a job, responsibilities and is just trying to do her best. Inspired to share this mindset flip with others, a few days later, I fired up the computer, opened up Facebook, and wrote my first “half full story of the day” post. 420 characters (the Facebook limit at the time!), all about how I flipped my negative mindset into a positive one…
From that moment on, I decided to post a half full story of the day every day at 5:37 pm (when my husband walked in the door from his work day), encouraging myself to turn any perceived negative into a positive. In the beginning, I would actively look for these moments and pay attention to obstacles that seemed to pop up. Like when a street would be closed and it would take extra time to get to my destination… I would reframe it, reminding myself there’s many ways to get to your destination and appreciating the new views I saw driving down different roads.
Pretty soon, I didn’t need to look for obstacles. Instead, my mindset had fundamentally shifted to naturally find the good and the perspective. And it became easy and quick to open up Facebook, write what I had seen or experienced, include a picture, and share it with my community. Fun fact … there were so many half full stories of the day over the years that I had enough content to create two different books for my family members.
While I might not write the half full story of the day anymore on Facebook, I always write them in my head and regularly share these stories with my team, our clients, and my community. It’s a value that has become so ingrained in me and one I deeply enjoy sharing with others.
Recently, I was reminded of the half full story of the day, especially given how much negativity and hardship dominate our world right now. This Gallup study is a good reminder of just how much emotion our employees experience daily:
Of employees who are what Gallup refers to as “actively disengaged,” 69% report feeling stress; 58% worry, 39% sadness, and 36% anger
While the numbers fare slightly better for those who are “engaged,” they still point to signs of conflict with 40% report feeling stress; 32% worry, 13% sadness, and 10% anger
“Not engaged” employees hover in between with 52% report feeling stress; 40% worry, 21% sadness, and 17% anger
As leaders, it’s important for us to understand the emotions our people feel, and model how to find the good no matter the obstacle. In the work that we do with our half full, llc, clients — be it multi-month leadership development programs, one-off team building days, virtual training series, etc. — we incorporate mindset and framework elements into our programming to help individuals find the way forward. Here are a few tips to get you started with your team:
Give it time
Updated research shows it can actually take longer than a few weeks to form a habit; it seems 66 days is needed to more reliably turn something new into a habit. Keep this in mind as you work with your team on positive rewiring. It can take time and repetition to more naturally find the good. That’s OK! Be patient and give it the proper space it needs. And remember, everyone, including you, has something going on, and people don’t know what they don’t know. Give grace to the times when you, yourself, may feel like your efforts are not working.
Put pen to paper
Writing down the positive can be very helpful. Whether it’s journaling, a gratitude jar, a letter, a sticky note… encourage your team to write down the good. For over five years at half full, llc, we’ve had a longstanding tradition where we show gratitude to one another through affirmations — offering short, encouraging statements where we validate, thank, celebrate, and call out the magic we notice in each other. A highlight of our week!
Audit your content
The more advanced we get with tech, the more access we have and the less time we have to unpack it. We have to be mindful of the algorithms, what is being placed in front of us, and where we’re getting our information from. Encourage your team (and you!) to take time to pause, ask clarifying questions, and refrain from jumping to assumptions. Check in the content you and your team are consuming, and don’t be afraid to limit the information you are taking in, especially if it’s negative.
Refrain from judging
In my last blog (click here), I dove deep into how to break the cycle of judgment. While there’s a lot of ways to work through and on this, at the end of the day it comes down to a simple choice you can make — to commit to acting the minute you hear yourself judging. That can mean everything from assuming positive intent in others to seeking to understand to taking the time to gain proper context.
Take a risk
If you and your team experience something that would normally activate the negative mindset, take a risk! Congratulate the person who got the promotion over you. Engage in conversation with your chatty neighbor. Offer to help the stranger on the side of the road. Just like anything in the world of development, getting comfortable turning the negative into the positive is a muscle that needs conditioning. And oftentimes, it can all start by taking one small risk!
When we can help ourselves — and our teams — shift from the negative to the positive, not only do we invite feelings of possibility and joy into the workplace, but we also cultivate the skillsets needed to breed resilience and grit in our people so they can face any future obstacle.
I’d love to hear from you… how do you help your team channel a positive mindset? Feel free to shoot me an email here, and/or connect with me on LinkedIn (here) so we can continue this conversation deeper.